很多同学因为疫情的原因，只能留在学校里不能外出，大家都要注意好防护，照顾好自己。即时隔离了大家的人，也隔离不了大家热爱生活的心，小易为同学们搜罗了一些比较好玩的英语笑话，希望大家看完都有好心情~

1.

“Anthony, do you think I'm a bad mother?”

“My name is Paul，mom.”

安东尼，你认为我是个坏妈妈吗？

我叫保罗，妈妈。

2.

One day,Eve asked Adam,\"Do you really love me?\"

Adam said helplessly,\"Do I have any other choice?\"

一天,夏娃问亚当:\"你当真爱我吗?\"

亚当无可奈何地回答:\"我还有的选择吗?\"

3.

One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, \"Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?\"

The student replied, \"Here's an orange.\"

The professor was livid. \"No! No! Think like a lawyer!\"

The student then recited, \"Okay, I'd tell him, I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...\"

在合同法课堂上，教授问一个学生“如果你想给别人一个橙子，你应该怎么说？”

学生说：“给你一个橙子。”

教授说：“不，你要想一个律师一样说话。”

学生说：“好的。兹特此向受让人转让所有的和单一的、财产和利益、权利、诉求、产权、获利，所属于和在其中，对于该橙子，以及其表皮、果汁、果肉、种子，以及所有的啃咬、切割、冷冻、等各种食用方式，或者在没有表皮、果汁、果肉、种子中任何一个的情况下，在此之前，从今往后，任何性质或种类不同的契约、产权、文件。”

4.

What do you call a computer that sings?

“ A-Dell”

会唱歌的电脑叫什么？

一台戴尔电脑（Adele）

5.

Doctor: “I've found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”

医生：我找到了一种治疗你睡眠问题的特效药。

病人：太好了，这药多久吃一次？

医生：每两个小时。

6.

Doctor: \"I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.\"

Patient: \"What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!\"

Doctor: \"Nine.\"

医生：我很抱歉你已经病入膏肓，只有10可以活了。

病人：什么意思？10什么？10个月？10星期？

医生：9。

7.

Harry prays to God:”Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery. “

The next day Harry begs the Lord again: “Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord!”

The next day, Harry again prays: “Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery! “

Suddenly he hears a voice from above: “Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket?”

哈里向上帝祈祷：上帝啊，请让我中彩票吧。

第二天他再向上帝祈求：请让我中一次彩票吧，上帝！

第三天他又来了：求你了上帝，让我中彩票吧！

突然他听到声音传来：哈里，你就不能先去买张彩票吗？

8.

-Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。

对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

好的，那给我那个打赢的吧。